Katie Thurston Says The Bachelor Changed the Way She Dated

Katie Thurston is now happily engaged to Jeff Arcuri, but she admits it wasn’t easy to navigate dating after leading The Bachelorette.

“Having a large audience was the biggest shift in how I dated,” the 33-year-old said during an Instagram Q&A on Sunday, December 29. “I wanted someone who wasn’t intimidated by my large audience or excited to use my large audience. If you have dirt, those skeletons will make its way to me pretty quickly (and for the best).”

Thurston, who got engaged to Blake Moynes on season 17 of The Bachelorette and went on to appear on season 3 of FBoy Island, said she also learned that sharing who you’re dating too early is ill-advised.

“I also learned not to post a guy within the first 90 days of dating (it often ended within this exploration phase). Posting a guy too soon has led me to extend a relationship far beyond its expiration date in order to avoid embarrassment,” she said.

Thurston met fellow comedian Arcuri, 37, in April and he proposed months later at Secret Beach in Kauai, Hawaii, on August 26.

When answering a question about their quick courtship, Thurston joked, “No no no. You don’t get to cheer me on during a reality dating show but then side eye me now.”

She continued: “But all jokes aside, I’m 34 (in less than a week) and he’s 37. We are just two independent, mature, adults who know what we want and found that in each other. Also dating long distance to start, really created a foundation like no other. Also, I never understood the expression ‘when you know you know’ and I now feel that deep in my heart for this man. And those who know us in person, see it and get it.”

At the time of their engagement, Thurston and Arcuri shared the phrase “when you know you know” alongside photos from the oceanside proposal.

“I won’t say neither of us have red flags. But when others saw things in us that were challenging, concerning, or weird — we embraced, healed, and supported those things,” Thurston said of her and Arcuri’s relationship on her Instagram Q&A. “For example, we are both sensitive. This also means we have patience and understanding for our feelings and talk through them openly while working through any disagreements. Neither of us are ‘too cool’ for anything so we get to be quirky together.”

She added that they both “remain humble” as celebrities, but Thurston said Arcuri is more “active and dedicated in his career path” as a comedian — which is why she’s moving to New York in 2025.

As for their wedding plans, Thurston said they’re looking at venues soon and hoping for something “outdoor forest” or Pacific Northwest vibes “without the unpredictable weather.”