Listen Like A Pro: Uncovering Hidden Truths Using The Disciplined Listening Method

Michael Reddington is a certified forensic interviewer as well as the President of Inquasive, Inc, a firm he established to teach people the fundamentals of truth-gathering using the tools of persuasion and strategic observation.

Having just released The Disciplined Listening Method: How a Certified Forensic Interviewer Unlocks Hidden Value in Every Conversation, Reddington joined Negotiate Anything to explain the Disciplined Listening Method and how it can help listeners uncover hidden truth in all conversations – even the most difficult ones.

What is the Disciplined Listening Method?

Often compared with “active-listening”, Reddington is clear that his intentions aren’t to bash the popular technique. While traditional listening methods hold quite a bit of value, there are still opportunities to go deeper.

Most of us desire to listen effectively, but this can be hard to maintain. Almost everybody has found themselves zoning out during a conversation – if they aren’t conducting their own internal dialogue instead. According to Reddington, the key is to listen with the following goal in mind: identify hidden value in every conversation.

When the goal becomes uncovering hidden value, it will be easier for you (as the negotiator or investigator) to listen more intently, as you will be looking for any information that has the potential to be useful.

“It’s not just about surviving the conversation,” Reddington said, “it’s about moving bigger pieces on a bigger chessboard to a more productive outcome.”

Successful listening starts with the correct mindset. If a person goes into a conversation expecting conflict – there is a good chance that their effort will be more focused on avoiding a potential fight than on gathering useful information. It’s also possible that this mindset will prime that person to exhibit behaviors that will only lead to more tension.

Instead of focusing on the short-term drain the conversation could bring, think about all the ways this person could surprise you OR all the hidden details you could uncover.

Hidden Value: Embracing Surprises in Negotiations

As an experienced forensic interviewer, Reddington has gotten comfortable with the idea that most of the people he speaks with don’t want to talk to him at all. Regardless of their role, most participants in an active investigation would rather not speak to law enforcement. Instead of taking this personally, Reddington shifts his mindset to focus on education instead of obtaining a confession. He makes it his mission to learn as much as he can about the person (beyond the scenario at hand).

Reddington elaborated on this experience, “Through that learning mentality I can be patient. I can let the conversation come to me. Now instead of listening for a confession or ‘gotcha moment’, I’m looking for opportunities to build unexpected bonds.”

The essence of hidden value is this: if you approach a conversation with the mindset that you don’t know everything but can learn more about what the person is thinking and feeling, you are still in an advantageous position.

“It’s more about having a framework that allows us to uncover new and valuable information as we go, as opposed to going in with a script and trying to just ram my head into the short-term goal,” Reddington shared.

The trick is to stay focused on the learning mentality. If your goal is to learn more about your counterpart, you can let them take the lead and/or dominate the conversation. In this scenario, they talk more (win) and they feel in control (win) – giving you the real leverage.

Overcoming Biases

Almost every person holds over 170 cognitive biases. According to Reddington, they are hardwired into our brains to help us make comfortable (and fast) decisions. These biases, plus our expectations, come together to help our brain clearly predict the outcome of a conversation.

This natural cognitive process can become a barrier to the learning mindset. Because of this, it’s critical to stay focused on your goal and remain open to being surprised.

“What I really care about is what’s going on between their ears?” Reddington explained. “What are they thinking and feeling and how are shifts in their thought process and emotional process valuable to me in regard to advancing the relationship?”

To learn more about Michael Reddington, follow him on LinkedIn or visit www.inquasive.com. To listen to the full podcast episode, click here.