The Secret To Influence: Ask The Magic Question

Influence is a term that we hear often in today’s society. More and more workers, creatives, and leaders are looking for ways to positively influence the people around them. The same is true in our everyday lives. But when it comes to these day-to-day interactions, what does it actually take to successfully influence people to behave in specific ways?

Dr. Zoe Chance, author, researcher and professor at The Yale School of Management, joined Negotiate Anything to share the secrets to finding your influence superpower.

The Magic Question

In work and life, Dr. Chance argues that one question can transform conversational dynamics (especially when collaborative problem-solving is needed): “what would it take for us to resolve this?”

The idea is that this question, which should be tailored to each unique conversation and context, encourages a collective problem-solving approach. As opposed to “me versus you” it becomes “me and you versus the problem”. Similarly, many people don’t like feeling scolded for their mistakes and others struggle with being told what to do without any opportunity for input.

Generally speaking, people want to be regarded as capable human-beings who can be made aware of an issue and given the opportunity to rise above it.

Dr. Chance elaborated on this point, “The magic question can turn a resistance mindset into creative problem solving.”

Strategies for Leadership

In the workplace, it will be important for leaders to positively influence their team to perform in very targeted ways. That said, attempts to do so oftentimes leave workers feeling frustrated and overlooked.

To avoid this, Dr. Chance advises leaders to default to the magic question when they feel tempted to criticize an employee’s performance. Part of the reason that criticism can be unfair (and unproductive) is that it overlooks the strengths and successes of that particular worker – a critical part of collaborative problem-solving.

As an example, let’s say that a manager is dealing with a consistently late employee. Rather than sitting them down to harp on their lateness and the problems it’s causing, a better question would be, “What would it take for you to come in on time every day this month?”

According to Dr. Chance leaders should also be “unfairly forgiving”. Though this may be tough in practice, the results will pay dividends in employee loyalty (which tie directly into workplace culture and finances).

To extend “unfair forgiveness” means that, within reason, should a worker mess up or fall significantly short of expectations, management will forgive them and practice collaborative problem-solving to make sure the incident does not happen again. Many researchers refer to this as the service failure paradox. Data has shown that employees who are unfairly forgiven end up being more loyal than those who never made an error in the first place.

That said, Dr. Chance advises that “unfair forgiveness” does not work in all contexts. This tool will be most powerful in the workplace, where there are unbalanced power dynamics. In personal relationships where the power is equally weighted, this strategy may not apply.

Finally, it’s important to remember that cash should not be the sole incentive for employees. By asking the magic question, leaders get closer to understanding what their workers really want. This can have a tremendous impact on their ability to get employee buy-in and influence behavior accordingly.

“If you’ve only offered money to employees as their incentive, they’ll just look for more money in another job,” Dr. Chance shared.

Strategies for Workers

When it comes to workers, it’s important to remember that any good leader wants their employees to succeed. As an employee, it’s perfectly acceptable to pose the magic question to your manager, especially if you are looking to negotiate a promotion or salary increase. If you’re thinking of ways to begin this conversation, try asking:

What would it take for me to be at the top of the salary band?

What would it take for me to get to the next level?

What would it take for me to qualify for [position title]?

Not only does this give you (as the worker) a clear pathway to advancement, but it gives management an opportunity to actively participate in the success of their employees.

Role-Playing

Difficult conversations can be intimidating, but they are never as scary as we think. To increase your comfort level, simply practice! Schedule time to engage in role-playing scenarios with a trusted colleague or friend. Not only will this help fine-tune your influence, but it will also build empathy and confidence.

Dr. Zoe Chance’s book, Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen, is now available for purchase. To learn more about her work visit www.zoechance.com. To listen to the full episode, click here.