‘Women are run ragged but get no recognition, if UCL report is believed’

We “liberated” women went to all that trouble burning our bras in the 1970s and where have we ended up? A report from University College London shows that dad is still seen as the breadwinner even when mum out-earns him.

In my autobiography Vanessa Bares All I describe the moment when my salary as a TV presenter and newspaper columnist eclipsed the pay of my then husband, known as “The Good Doctor”.

Accepted wisdom had been that he – an orthopaedic surgeon – had the important job, while I messed about “showing off” on the telly.

When my pay packet knocked his into a cocked hat, unsolicited advice poured in: “Make sure he feels like the boss in his home. Never flaunt the fact you’re the higher earner. Always let him wear the trousers. The last thing you want to do is puncture his confidence.”

I listened. I obeyed. He left anyway. That was in 1999.

Scroll forward a quarter of a century and the same sexist tropes still flourish. A man must be perceived as chief hunter-gatherer even if he isn’t bringing home much bacon. His ego depends on promulgating fiction. Men must be celebrated as “head of the family” even if mum is more successful.

I loathe what I am about to write. Unfortunately, many women I work with in their 30s and 40s are run ragged, working full-time and returning home to the unwanted role of chief cook and bottle-washer.

Their less well-remunerated husbands seem incapable of playing an equal role in raising their children and running the household. They don’t think to refill the loo roll, wash the dirty games kit or buy a birthday card for their own mother.

These fellows require constant wifely supervision, hourly “reminders” and a form of exasperated hectoring which might accurately be described as nagging.

Not one of the women I know is a natural shrew. They have neither the time nor desire to bombard their partners with instructions.

Yet they know from bitter experience if they don’t prod them into defrosting a chicken, filling in a permission form or lagging the loft, nothing will happen. This report delivers the worst in black and white. Now what the hell shall we do to change things?