Woke Carols in the Church of England

At an office buffet the other day we all pulled out contributions for a festive desk-side lunch ahead of the Christmas Day break.

Yet as soon as a colleague emptied a packet of ‘pigs in blanket’ flavoured crisps on a plate, she seemed to crumple as bleak realisation scudded across her face.

She cried, “How could she have been so thoughtless?” Her eyes swam with implored apology. Her crime?

Providing a snack made with bacon – the clue doubtless in the title – which, given that I am Jewish, I chose not to eat since I observe my religion`s dietary laws.

So, was I offended by this misdemeanour? Hell, yes. Not by the pigs in a blanket. Rather, I was insulted by the notion that offence would be taken from being in the orbit of non-kosher Christmas snacks. That there should be a guarded approach to festive fayre for fear non-practitioners like myself might be excluded.

Sadly this was by no means an isolated incident. Repeatedly we are peddled a woke-washed dream of Christmas. One in which everyone must be included – even if it is at the expense of the heritage and tradition of this most Christian festival. Even if those of us who don`t celebrate haven’t asked it to be so.

Look no further than the Church of England, who this week balefully urged clergy to alter Advent hymns so that congregations can celebrate the festive season ‘without causing unnecessary offence’. Offence to people like me.

An email sent to clergy in the Birmingham diocese advocated the use of language that won’t add further confusion or tension or take away anything from the good news of the Nativity.’ Little wonder the Vicar who leaked this ridiculous piece of politically correct hogwash stormed that the Church has ‘really lost the plot’, adding that even Russian dictator Vladimir Putin ‘doesn’t order Orthodox churches to censor carols at Christmas’.

Thankfully, this year, my favourite – G-d Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen – wasn`t singled out by such tactical meddling. That happened two years ago when attempts were made to rewrite this haunting minor key 17th-century carol so that it was more ‘inclusive’ to women and gay people. The irony is that in taking a censorious approach to carols for the sake of, well, the likes of me, the Church risks fostering division rather than unity. Making those who do embrace and celebrate Christmas resentful of those who don`t. It is a dangerous and inflammatory move – not least at a time of spiralling antisemitism when Jewish people are already suffering record numbers of attacks and abuse. And this is doubtless the same for other minorities already targeted for their ethnicity or religion.

Think about it. If you weren`t Jewish and had cause to attend synagogue sabbath services would you expect the songbook to be tweaked to fit your needs? Of course not. What`s more, you`d note synagogue services include a prayer for the Royal family – every week, and without fail. By the same token, if I had the privilege of being invited to a Christmas concert, I wouldn’t want any judicious editing to take place. Christmas carols are deeply rooted in the Christian tradition and any adaptation robs them of their expression of faith for those who celebrate Christ’s birth. It is deeply disrespectful to rewrite their content – since it devalues a heritage which has been preserved for centuries.

In their bid to be inclusive the Church of England risks showing how little they truly understand the beauty of a Christmas carol. How the sound of these stirring melodies drifting across a crisp, cold Christmas night evoke the spirit and song of the festive season.

The language used in liturgy hymns and readings could, it is argued in the bombshell email, easily cause confusion.So time for clarity.

Do not use the likes of this Jewish woman as a way to burnish woke credentials. Do not use carols to stir up lines of division which don`t exist. Junk inclusivity and remain exclusive – ring-fencing the heritage of Christian traditions in their original form. Encourage carol singers to bust their lungs with the sound of Christmas. And face the new year with a focus on the sheer joy of sharing hopes for peace and understanding. Now I`m off for a mince pie – kosher ones, of course.