‘I was ashamed of being gay, now I help thousands across the world not to be’

Growing up in Singapore, Jaron Soh had a secret he could tell no one else about.

He was gay in a country where that was illegal, and it was taking a toll on his mental health.

Jaron now has a unique solution for LGBTQ+ people struggling with self-acceptance and he’s on a mission to reach those still suffering in countries where being LGBTQ+ is a crime.

‘We go through years of shame and stigma or family rejection,’ Jaron Soh, 31, told Metro.

He spent 21 years of his life in Singapore, where sex between men was illegal until 2022.

He said: ‘A lot of people struggle with the word “gay”. I think for me the word gay carried so much negative connotation.’

When Jaron came to the UK to study at the London School of Economics, he thought he was finding ‘the freedom to explore’ who he was.

Instead, he ended up suffering with burnout and personal challenges. Then he made a startling realisation.

‘Looking at all my LGBTQ+ friends, I realised, you all need this as well.

‘We all were distracting ourselves with alcohol, with chasing relationships, and chasing validation.

‘LGBTQ+ people have worse mental outcomes. We’re two to three times more likely to struggle with substance use, and have anxiety disorders, depression disorders.

***Click here for full list of Metro Pride Awards nominees***

Surveys show that gay and bisexual men are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide than the rest of the population.

While 67% of trans people have experienced depression within the last year and 46% had thought of ending their life.

LGBT people are one and a half times, or 150%, more likely to develop depression or an anxiety disorder compared to the rest of the population.

‘There is a lack of support that understands who we are. It doesn’t really take into account your identity and the issues that you’re going through.

‘Even with NHS, there are no LGBT-specific mental health pathways, although there are great NHS leaders advocating for our community.

‘If you struggle with your identity, you probably also have a difficult time raising it up with your healthcare provider.’

Jaron turned to mental health apps but found these did not offer the support he needed.

‘These mainstream mental health apps are very cis-normative and heteronormative.

‘These apps love cognitive behavior therapy, or CBT, which is works by identifying dysfunctional thinking patterns contributing to anxiety or depression.

‘But I think for a lot of LGBT people, it misses a big element, which is shame.

***Click here for full list of Metro Pride Awards nominees***

‘The LGBT community has very specific problems that mainstream apps don’t cover.

‘Things like coming out to friends and family, as well as coming out at work.’

It was then about three years ago that Jaron got to work on an app dedicated to LGBTQ+ wellbeing.

He put in some savings and recruited a team of seven accredit therapists.

The outcome was Voda, which was launched a year ago and revamped in December due to skyrocketing demand.

Voda, which means water in slavic languages, provides specific programmes on topics personal for LGBTQ+ people, from dealing toxicity on gay dating apps like Grindr to being a gay parent.

Jaron, who is nominated for LGBT+ Business Leader Of The Year in Metro’s Pride Awards, is particularly passionate about helping trans individuals with their self care, and one of Voda’s first programmes was called ‘Coping with Gender Dysphoria’.

‘Trans people right now are getting chased off certain platforms because they’re just posting about their daily lives.

‘I think for a lot of trans people this is the first time they felt seen and understood with what they’re going through.’

While Voda is mainly being used in the UK, America and the West, Jaron’s ambition is to help people in countries with repressive LGBT laws, like the Singapore he grew up in.

At least 67 countries still have national laws criminalising same-sex relations. In Iran, Saudi Arabia and other places, it is a crime still punishable by death.

In over a hundred countries, including Singapore, same -sex marriage remains illegal.

‘I want to scale it into all the countries where it’s illegal to be who we are.

‘We want to build a version of the app that’s anonymous and free to access that people could use.

‘LGBTQ+ people in these countries feel so isolated and alone.

‘I’ve been there before where I felt that way and I want to help those who are in the position I was in.’

Jaron has another goal too: ‘I would love to move back to Singapore and campaign for marriage equality.’

Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at [email protected].

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