Shoresy’s 10 Funniest Pick-Up Lines, Ranked

Jared Keeso’s hockey-centric Letterkenny spinoff Shoresy is driven by running gags and ongoing jokes, and few are funnier than Shoresy’s never-ending pursuit of reporter Laura Mohr, which results in some absolutely hilarious pick-up lines. Not much is known about Shoresy’s background, including what his first name is, but over the course of Shoresy the audience learns that there is more heart to the foul-mouthed hockey veteran than he would ever admit. Aside from his pet bird Big Sexy, his most significant soft spot is local reporter Laura Mohr.

Played by Canadian actress Camille Sullivan, Laura Mohr is a divorced single mother (and appears to be a high-functioning alcoholic) who occasionally interacts with Shoresy, the team captain, for insight on the Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs. It becomes clear that Shoresy’s earnest pick-up lines have won her over a bit over time, as she becomes friendlier as the show has gone on, even inviting him into her garage at one point to…hang out. As heartfelt as the pick-up lines might be, they are still quotes from Shoresy, so each one is funnier than the last.

10

“Hey, you ever been sitting across from someone, just trying to have a normal conversation, fighting every urge inside yourself to just scream out “YEAH!””

Season 1, Episode 2, “Veteran Presence”

This quote comes from the first real showcase of Laura Mohr in the show, when Shoresy meets with her to discuss his claim that the Bulldogs will “never lose again.” This line is all about delivery, as it’s the way Shoresy says “yeah” that really drives his point home. He’s attempting to explain to Laura how excited he is just to be talking to her, but he uses a childish upturn in his exclamation that makes his already comically shrill voice even funnier.

Their meeting is an important scene for the show because, in addition to this quote, it introduces the line “I’d be so good to ya”, which Shoresy returns to time and again in his attempts to woo her. He does, of course, add variations to that line as he repeats it, which is a good example of why Jared Keeso’s two shows are so funny: he manages to repeat jokes and commit to bits while making sure that they evolve, which keeps the comedy from ever feeling stale or overly repetitive.

9

“You’re smart, capable, rational, dependable, outgoing, kind, consistent, you’re a leader…and you smell so f*ckin’ good.”

Season 2, Episode 2, “Skill vs. Will”

This line from early in season 2 of Shoresy while the Bulldogs’ captain and Laura Mohr meet up at Eddie’s Sports Bar and Restaurant so that she can get a quote related to their upcoming game against the Soo Hunt, up from the United States. Predictably, Shoresy makes her task difficult by rattling off a number of lines about how distractingly attractive she is and what he tells his friends about her. This causes her to eventually leave him hanging at the table by himself, asking him to text her a quote she can use for her story.

As she turns to leave, she pauses and asks what Shoresy actually tells his teammates and friends about her, and for a moment Shoresy appears to let his guard down, and answers her honestly with this quote. What makes it so funny is the juxtaposition of the list of flattering qualities with the sort of creepy, sort of sweet curse-laden observation that she smells good. It’s a true microcosm of Shoresy’s personality, in that the sweet, genuine person has always been there inside the inappropriate, offensive exterior.

8

“I hope you know I’ve been watching YouTube tutorials on how to rub your feet good.”

Season 1, Episode 6, “Don’t Poke The Bear”

What makes this quote from season 1 of Shoresy so funny is that it measures the level of Shoresy’s infatuation with Laura Mohr, yet he says it completely in passing when they incidentally meet in the arena. It implies that Shoresy actually has done research into how he can go above and beyond to treat her well, and he says it earnestly enough that it might actually be true. What might otherwise be creepy comes across as simultaneously sweet and hilarious because of how long Shoresy has been after Laura Mohr, and how he knows he’s making progress with her.

7

“Oh I tell the boys, the sexiest thing about ya is your mind, and here I am breakin’ a sweat because I can see your bra’s a non-traditional color.”

Season 2, Episode 2, “Skill vs. Will”

This is part of the same conversation as the aforementioned “you smell so good” pick-up line, but comes before that heartfelt list of attributes. Shoresy begins the conversation not looking at Laura, jokingly telling her that she’s too attractive for him to focus. When he finally does turn to her, he notices that her shirt is slightly askew, revealing her bra a bit, and hits her with this pickup line.

It’s a subtle reminder of how physically attracted to Laura Shoresy is, and a reminder that Shoresy is still immature at times (and perfectly okay with that). What makes it particularly funny is the sheer specificity of the line, which is a hallmark not only of Shoresy’s pickup lines, but of Jared Keeso’s comedy in general. It isn’t enough to comment on being able to see her bra. He has to note that what fires him up is that it isn’t a typical color (in this case, it’s black).

Season 1, Episode 4, “If You Can’t Win, Don’t Play”

Season 1, episode 4 of Shoresy has one scene that’s a gold mine for pickup lines, and it comes in the back halls of the arena before the Bulldogs’ game. Shoresy brings his fastball and rattles off multiple lines right in a row in an attempt to woo Laura, and this is one of the funniest among them (although there are two more still to come in this list). This line demonstrates one of Shoresy’s best pick-up “themes”, in which he claims he would do something extreme just for the slightest bit of interaction with Laura.

Shoresy has connections to real people and places in Sudbury, Ontario, where the show is set and was actually shot, and here Shoresy references a real place in the actual city of Sudbury. The Bridge of Nations is a local landmark that features the home country flags of all the citizens who live in Sudbury. It’s Shoresy‘s fun way to shout out the Bulldogs’ hometown while making a memorable joke.

5

“Why are we doin’ this here when we could be over at 7-Star Dumpling House? Let’s get some f*ckin’ bibimbap.”

Season 1, Episode 2, “Veteran Presence”

This is another line from Shoresy’s first conversation with Laura on the show, and it demonstrates another theme to Shoresy’s pick-up lines. For whatever reason, Shoresy is constantly trying to get Laura to go out for Asian food with him; he references Asian cuisine frequently in the show, including bubble tea, tempura, miso ramen, etc. This pick-up line is particularly funny due to the reference to a real Sudbury location (the 7-Star Dumpling House is an actual Chinese restaurant in Sudbury) and just the aural silliness of the phrase “f*ckin bibimbap”.

4

“I’d full gainer down the crack in Killarney just to hold your purse.”

Season 1, Episode 4, “If You Can’t Win, Don’t Play”

The second of Shoresy’s rapid-fire pick-up lines to make the list from season 1, episode 4 of Shoresy refers to Shoresy taking a running backwards somersault (the acrobatic move known as a gainer) off the top of another Ontario landmark. In this instance, he refers to The Crack, which is a famous hiking trail through the mountains of Killarney, Ontario known for its beautiful vistas and bird-watching overlooks. It’s funny because it’s so ridiculously specific, and the kicker is that he would do something so extreme just for the chance to provide her with a service.

3

“I’m gonna shoot my f*ckin’ shot with you one of these days. You better f*ckin’ look out, it’s gonna be you, me and a whole table of dim sum. Doesn’t that sound good?”

Season 1, Episode 6, “Don’t Poke The Bear”

This is the best of Shoresy’s Asian cuisine-related pick-up lines to Laura Mohr, and it’s delivered as she’s walking away from him, which somehow makes it better, as if she’s already agreed. The first part’s funny because he’s ironically speaking as if he hasn’t been shooting his shot for months, and the second part’s funny because he constantly refers to the silliest-sounding (to English-speakers) Asian foods while trying to pick her up. It’s impossible to take him seriously while saying this, which is sort of the point; it’s just flirtatious banter, not an honest attempt to ask her out.

2

“Well, I’d tongue-kiss your toaster to vacuum your f*ckin’ car.”

Season 2, Episode 4, “Players Only”

This is the funniest of Shoresy’s non-Ontario-related pick-up attempts simply due to the vibrant imagery he uses. It’s the most extreme (and once again, comically specific) act he claims he’ll do in order to find a way to make her life easier, and it’s unique in that it’s delivered while he’s standing in the doorway of her house. It’s accompanied by another vulnerable moment in which Shoresy openly admits that winning doesn’t mean anything if he doesn’t have someone to share his life with, which makes the harshness of both the action and the language that much funnier.

1

“I’d sit my bare *ss on the Big Nickel just to have you flick some debris off my shirt, I swear to God I’d be so good to ya.”

Season 1, Episode 4, “If You Can’t Win, Don’t Play”

This is Shoresy’s clear best pick-up line for a number of reasons, the first of which is the local connection. The Big Nickel is a 30-foot replica of a 1951 Canadian nickel, which is located outside the Dynamic Earth science museum in the real Sudbury, Ontario. The image of a grown-man sitting on his naked rear-end atop a massive coin for all to see is inherently funny, but Shoresy adds in that he would go to such extreme lengths just for the slightest touch from Laura.

He also pronounces the word “debris” as “deb-riss” as opposed to the correct French pronunciation “de-bree”, which makes it funnier. It’s the final of Shoresy’s aforementioned rapid-fire pick-up attempts in season 1, episode 4, and it also manages to dip back into the well he’s gone to so many times: “I’d be so good to ya.” Shoresy‘s insult humor might be seen as the shows bread and butter, but the pick-up lines are absolutely hysterical, and if some fans of the show are to be believed, they actually work in the real world.

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A foul-mouthed hockey player takes on the challenge of coaching a struggling team, bringing his abrasive humor and relentless determination to the rink. As he pushes his players to their limits, he faces personal and professional obstacles, striving to transform the team into champions while navigating the complex dynamics of small-town life and the sport he loves.

Release Date

May 13, 2022

Cast

Jared Keeso
, Tasya Teles
, Harlan Blayne Kytwayhat
, Jonathan Diaby
, Keilani Rose
, Ryan McDonell
, Blair Lamora
, Terry Ryan

Seasons

3

Production Company

New Metric Media, Play Fun Games Pictures, Bell Media, WildBrain Studios

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