Valentine’s Day romance fraud: How £105m was lost in the UK last year

People looking for love on Valentine’s Day could find themselves out of pocket to the tune of thousands as it’s the hottest day of the year for romance scammers to strike.

Last year the UK lost a total of £105m to dating scams, with over 9,000 people likely to fall victim to a romance scam this year – that’s an average of over £10k lost per case.

Psychologist Nilou Esmaeilpour says these crooks “play on the most basic human needs of “looking for connection, belonging, and emotional intimacy. “

She added: “We trust people who are kind and affectionate toward us, especially if we are lonely or vulnerable.

“Most people don’t realize how strong psychological manipulation can be and how fraudsters, over time, gain the trust of their potential targets.”

Police warn that in the majority of romance scams fraudsters do not ask for money upfront, but instead concentrate on creating an emotional connection first which can make subsequent requests seem like a natural development in the relationship.

And because victims frequently feel ashamed of their initial involvement they are far less likely to seek advice from friends or family.

Nilou, who is clinical director of Lotus Therapy, says as dating apps and people’s online activity has exploded it has opened up fresh opportunity’s for criminals looking to target people when they are at their most vulnerable to falling victim.

She added: “The proliferation of dating apps and social media has made it easier for scammers to reach potential victims, crafting elaborate personas that feel real. Over time, scammers have honed their tactics to include AI-generated content, doctored photos, and purloined profiles to create an illusion of real connection. “

The common method is creating an elaborate, fake identity with social media accounts, photos, and a backstory to which they attach a perceived veneer of credibility.”

Searches for love bombing online have also seen a 17% increase.

“Love bombing is a well-known psychological manipulation technique among many others that plays a very important role in romance scams. It is an overwhelming amount of affection, praise, and attention early in a relationship, making the victim feel so valued and emotionally dependent on the scammer,” added Nilou.

“This technique accelerates emotional attachment, making it difficult for the victim to see warning signs. Victims tend to disregard scepticism coming in from friends or family because, at this point, they’ve already been conditioned to believe in the authenticity of the relationship.

Some people may be aware of love bombing but still fall victim due to loneliness, a strong desire for companionship, or a belief that they are the exception.”

She highlights some of the red flags you should look out for:

Romance scammers employ a variety of tactics designed to build trust, establish emotional dependency, and eventually extract money from victims.

Many of them claim to have high-demanding jobs, like being a military officer, an engineer on an oil rig, or an international businessman, thereby providing themselves with a convenient excuse to avoid meeting face-to-face.

Others concoct an emergency that suddenly arises, a legal problem, or even an investment opportunity for which they need money straight away.

Scammers manipulate a sense of urgency through invented emergencies or time-sensitive financial pressure that forces victims into immediate action without critical thought. Since a meaningful relationship has been perceived, the fear of losing it often overrides logical judgment and makes the person send money when caution would be the course of action in other instances.

As a result, security experts at money transfer firm Remitly’s are sharing seven essential tips for Express readers to help for combat romance scams this Valentine’s Day:

 These are:

Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, take a step back.

Stay on the App: Scammers often try to move conversations off dating platforms quickly to avoid detection.

Verify Their Story: Verify the person’s identity by doing a reverse image search or asking for a video call.

Be Cautious of Love Bombing: Scammers often use “love bombing” to overwhelm you with excessive compliments, grand promises, or declarations of love early on. While it may feel flattering, this is a common tactic to lower your guard and build quick trust. Take your time to get to know someone and be wary if they push for intense emotional closeness too soon.

Avoid Sending Money: Requests for financial assistance, especially early on, are a major red flag, even if the person appears to be in a dire situation.

Secure Your Accounts: Use strong passwords and two-factor authentication on all your financial accounts.

Learn to Spot AI Deception: Scammers may use AI-generated text or images to seem more authentic. Look for inconsistencies in their communication or overly polished profile.