‘I was in denial about my wife’s dementia until the police visited’

A dementia charity is predicting a surge in calls to its support line in the New Year after families notice symptoms in loved ones during Christmas gatherings.

Early signs such as memory loss, confusion, mood changes and trouble communicating may be noticed for the first time.

Alzheimer’s Society has seen a 15% increase in January calls over the last two years, which is thought to have been driven by better awareness of the importance of getting an early diagnosis.

Margaret Gloster, 79, was diagnosed with mixed dementia in January 2023, two years after her partner Derek Wiley began seeing changes in her behaviour and abilities.

She said: “Nobody wants a diagnosis but it is reassuring to know you are not being silly, there’s a disease causing all the things that you cannot explain.”

Early signs that something was wrong included retired dance teacher Margaret becoming confused while performing daily tasks such as making a cup of tea, and getting lost in familiar places.

The pair were initially in denial. They hoped things would get better but became increasingly isolated and depressed.

Former bus driver Derek, 67, said: “There was one occasion where I was woken in the early hours by the police knocking on the door. I hadn’t noticed that Margaret had got up in the night and left the house.

“She was noticed by a nearby resident who helped her but she couldn’t tell them where she lived. This was really the crux for us to seek more medical help.”

Margaret hasn’t been able to leave the house on her own since before her diagnosis. She added: “This is the scary side of dementia.

“I feel I know where I want to get to but once I’m out I cannot remember the way. I sometimes think if I just keep walking straight ahead, I’ll reach my destination, but it means I get lost and confused easily.”

The couple, of Basildon in Essex, said making contact with Alzheimer’s Society helped them continue enjoying life. They now have an active social life and are supported by one of the charity’s local staff members.

Derek added: “If not for Alzheimer’s Society I’m sure we’d be stuck inside watching daytime TV with little quality of life.

“Margaret has medication to help manage symptoms but dementia is forever evolving and some days are better than others.

“Don’t delay seeking help. It can’t make things any worse.”

The support line – on 0333 150 3456 – offers practical and emotional support and advice on topics including getting diagnosed and access to social care, and can help people find other organisations and services .

Alzheimer’s Society’s ambassadors David Baddiel, Suranne Jones and Anne-Marie Duff – all of whom have a personal connection to dementia – have lent their voices to reenact some of the calls the charity’s support line receives.

Alzheimer’s Society chief executive Kate Lee said: “From a listening ear on the phone to a visit in person and opportunities to connect with others, we’ll be there for you again and again and again, no matter what.

“Dementia is the UK’s biggest killer with the realities often played out behind closed doors. With one in three people born today developing dementia, it has never been more crucial to shine a light on the condition and bring it out into the open.”

You can support the charity’s Christmas appeal or find more information here.