Queer Christian ‘could never go to church again’ after being ‘groped’ at service

Pinned against a wall while being groped, John* knew he had to act.

‘I wanted to move away from them, but they cornered me, gave me a hug, and then grabbed my arse’, they told Metro.

This wasn’t the first time a leader at this LGBT+ church in the UK had been accused of inappropriate touching.

At least 18 congregants have complained about their behaviour since December 2022, but other church leaders described them as ‘just a hugger’ doing an ‘old man thing’.

Alleged victims’ stories paint a different picture.

‘At the start of a Sunday service, the core leader smacked my ass hard in front of other members’, one said.

‘They would squeeze and pinch my side all the way down to my buttocks and thighs.’

Often it was done in the open, according to John, who ‘saw him massage the stomach of someone who was younger than me’.

They said: ‘His hand had gone down to the person’s flank, and then rubbed it – not for a second or a moment, but almost as if they were grasping it.’

It was supposed to be a safe space for anyone, regardless of race, gender, sexuality or age – people like John, who’ve struggled to feel at home.

‘It was a huge upheaval to leave the previous church I went to because their theology excluded gay people, or was deeply judgmental to gay people. Leaving that community, I never necessarily thought I’d find another one.’

For John, that initial belief they’d found somewhere they belong added to the sense of ‘betrayal’ they felt when numerous complaints about ‘overly intense’ behaviour were brushed aside.

Church policy was to report any instance of inappropriate touching to the district church’s safeguarding lead within 24 hours. This didn’t happen.

John said: ‘They really made it feel like it was my problem to deal with. I think they said something along the lines of, “X is my friend and I feel really awkward to bring it up with them, would you feel comfortable to challenge the behavior yourself”, and other questions like that.’

When an investigation was launched, alleged victims weren’t called on for evidence, they told Metro.

Attempts to share their experiences with a meeting on the matter led to threats to call the police.

‘You are disrupting the gathering’, a church leader could be heard saying in one recording. ‘I am going to have to ask you to leave for a final time and if you do not then I am going to have to call the police.’

For John: ‘The real problem at the heart of this case is the way the church responded – not just its initial response, but its continuing response, and its downplaying of the issue, its subsequent victimisation and then exclusion of people who were victims or survivors of this person’s inappropriate touching.

‘The church officially responded in, eventually, an aggressive, exclusionary way as they effectively rounded the wagons and sought to kind of isolate the people who had raised complaints to try and safeguard the reputation of their community.’

Sunday services at the church have been suspended since the summer, according to a notice on its home page. If they do resume, John won’t return.

‘The betrayal of it has been quite deep’, they told Metro. ‘I really struggle with emotions like rage, that sense of betrayal, and there’s a deep grief to it, because it felt like I’d found something and it’s ripped away by incompetence.

They said: ‘I’m not sure I could go to a church again. I don’t know if I could trust people again.’

In a statement, the church said it’s ‘grieved by all the pain that has been experienced’, but stated its ongoing support for the church leadership.

They said: ‘A safeguarding concern was first brought to the attention of [the church]’s leadership in late 2023. This was followed by further complaints to the [district church] as [the church]’s oversight body in January 2024.

‘Swift action was then taken by [the church] and district leaders to ensure the safety of the community. With risk removed, a five-month safeguarding investigation followed. However, beyond the initial concern, multiple further allegations could not be corroborated or were found to be inaccurate and therefore dismissed.

‘Several LGBTQ+ members of [the church] expressed distress at being wrongly named as victims or witnesses without their knowledge or consent. The safeguarding investigation was completed in June finding no ongoing risk in relation to the original allegation, but [the church] has not yet reconvened public gatherings due to the distress and damage this situation has caused.’

A statement from the police said: ‘Officers investigating a number of reports of sexual assaults have made an arrest.

‘As part of our ongoing enquiries, a 49-year-old man was arrested this weekend on suspicion of sexual assault.

‘He has since been bailed while our enquiries continue.’

Metro approached the district church and district investigator for comment.

*Name changed to protect their identity.

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