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Who I Lost

“Mom’s love for me
was unconditional.

There’s nothing she
wouldn’t do for me.

And there was nothing I
wouldn’t do for her.

I bought this
house for my mom.

I was tired of her moving
around every two years.

We were living together
here about a year

and a few months.

She would tell me sometimes,

‘Can you keep
your music down today,

I got to
take a test?’”

“Graduating class to the
Morgan State University.”

“She received her degree
in speech communication

on May 16, 2020.

Of course it was virtual, so
we did it in the living room.

We did a whole photo shoot
and we put all this stuff up

on the wall.

And she just
had a ball.

That was

one of the most happiest
days I’ve ever seen that lady.

She had reached
a lifelong goal that

she had been
talking about.

Just always said,

‘I’m going to get a degree.

It’s going to be
the last thing I do.

I’m going to get a degree.’

And it was.

It was.

I thought my mom would
die of old age, such

a faithful woman.

I just knew she would
be on this earth

until she was old and gray.

On my mom’s death certificate it

says Covid.

So any time I hear that,
I automatically go to her,

and I’m thinking about her.

It’s just, it’s a trigger.

The heaviness of grief
is very unpredictable.

It comes out of nowhere.

There are a lot of
reminders — just coming

home, being in here, this
room that I’m in was hers.

The first few months,

I didn’t really touch
anything up here.

I couldn’t — it was rough,
smelling her scent,

just being in her dwelling.

Just walking in this
house even now, sometimes …

… I hate it.

I hate that I bought this house.”

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