The second group date was dramatic, too. The fellas played dodgeball with extremely high stakes (for The Bachelorette): Winner take all, and by “take all” I mean an extra few hours with Clare while the losers go home. Clare, however, took it upon herself to up the ante even more and make it strip dodgeball.
This was conflicting for me. On the one hand, if contestants on The Bachelor were told they had to strip in order to win extra time, I would be calling upon the ghost of Vienna Girardi to bring shame and destruction upon the entire franchise. On the other…the guys are game for it. And I love how horny Clare is? After multiple seasons with storylines around virginity, it’s refreshingly normal to see a woman say, “Yeah, I’d like to see those buns.” It’s tricky!
Anyway, moral dilemma aside the blue team—The Blue Balls, they aptly named themselves—were the losers and had to walk of shame home in their jock straps. Blake was the most upset by this outcome. Not because he was wandering around a La Quinta Inn nude while producers ask about his feelings. Nope, he just couldn’t stop thinking about what was happening at the cocktail party he wasn’t invited to. FOMO strikes again.
And so, he (and the producers, probably) decide to crash. Clare was talking to Jay when Blake walked up and asked to cut in. “I mean, didn’t you lose?” Jay replied. Classic Jay.
The others find out Blake crashed, so they walk up with their chests puffed out, ready for a fight. Clare deescalated the situation quickly, and it seemed like that’d be the biggest drama of the night. But then! Ohhhh boy. Clare and Brandon sat down for a one-on-one chat, during which he claimed the only reason he signed up for the show was because Clare was the Bachelorette.
“Oh, really?” Clare asked. “What did you like about me?”
Long pause. The longest pause. A single bead of sweat dropped onto Brandon’s brow, just above his terror-filled eyes. Finally, he replied: Oh, well, I don’t really know you yet. Reader, I cringed!
Sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was a trap and you walked into it faster than Wile E. Coyote. Of course Clare sent him packing, but not before raking him over the coals so hard he’ll probably have ash marks forever tattooed on his tush. It was one of the most yikes-yikes-yikes moments in Bachelorette history, and I was here for every second of it.
The next morning, as the guys debriefed about the dodgeball game, Yosef revealed he has OPINIONS. He found the strip dodgeball “classless” and a “red flag” and planned to confront Clare about this at the cocktail party.
Unfortunately, we have to wait for next week to find out how that goes. But based on the episode preview, it sure looks like Clare gets another opportunity to tear into a fuckboi. I can’t wait.
Anna Moeslein is a senior editor at Glamour.
World News || Latest News || U.S. News
Help us to become independent in PANDEMIC COVID-19. Contribute to diligent Authors.